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by CarlaPeterLove
Summary: "It's not their fault, maybe they just aren't equipped to handle any more of her problems..." Whilst dealing with the truth about her father, a self-destructing Carla feels like she needs something more.
1. Wounded

As she sat in a dingy back street café, the one she used to hang out in as a kid, Carla wished she had the courage to walk away from it all.

She wished that she could just get up and move on with her life but as time seemed to pass by she knew she had to do this because if she didn't, she didn't know what would happen.

After everything that had happened in her life, Carla genuinely didn't think it could get much worse. She though that being with Nick kept her safe… he kept her safe and she thought that she would never feel this way again.

After finding out that Johnny Connor was her dad, Carla now felt naïve, naïve for thinking that Nick would be able to save her.

No one could save her that much had become very clear and Carla wondered if she'd ever feel her twisted version of normal again.

Her whole world had been blown apart for about the one-hundredth time and she was starting to believe that maybe she wasn't ever supposed to be happy after all, that someone, somewhere was doing these things to her because she didn't actually deserve _happy._

Something always seemed to come along and ruin whatever joy she had managed to find in this pathetic joke that she called life.

He started with excuses.

He blamed it on being young and when Carla told him to just come out with it, he did.

 _"I'm... I'm your Dad... Carla... I'm your Dad."_

He said it like it was nothing, like he couldn't have stepped in and spared her from the tragic childhood she'd had.

The words hit Carla like a tonne of bricks and had her rooted to the spot, she didn't say anything at first because she thought that she had maybe misheard him but when she went over the moment in her head again it became clear that she hadn't misheard him… this nightmare was well and truly real.

Then there was a moment… a moment where Carla had thought that maybe Johnny felt bad, maybe he was telling her all of this because he was finally stepping up to the plate, maybe he was finally going to be a Dad but this being Carla's life meant that Johnny, like everyone else, disappointed her.

Once again she was just being naive.

He revealed he was only telling her because he was being blackmailed.

Blackmailed by her own baby brother.

The kid she had looked after when their Mother was drunk or high or missing for the second day in a row.

Johnny probably hadn't meant to but he had revealed there and then to Carla that he didn't really care about the fact that she was his oldest daughter... he was only interested in saving his own skin.

He never said he loved her or that he was proud... just that he didn't want her to tell Aidan and Kate... he didn't want them know... he was only thinking of himself.

There were so many things about the situation that deeply wounded Carla.

The first was that her brother still held onto so much anger, that he was willing to hurt her in such a way and use her to gain money that he couldn't even spend properly due to the fact that he was in prison... in prison because of her of course, which made Carla once again feel like maybe finding out this way meant that she was getting her just desserts.

The next thing that Carla couldn't stand was that Johnny had stood by and let her grow up in the home that she did.

The home that being sat in this café, meant that she was only ten minutes away from and the home that she had spent her whole life trying to forget.

He knew what was going on, he could pretend that he didn't all he liked but he knew, because everyone knew what life was like in the Donovan household.

Everyone knew and he was the only one who could have done something about it.

As an adult, Carla had just accepted that her childhood was just the way it was because that's life, she knew that not everyone had a happy time as a kid and the fact that her's was a downright miserable one was just down to bad luck, that being born to a Mother like her's was just the way it went but now...

Well now she was hearing that Johnny Connor had his suspicions that he was her father all along and he did nothing.

Now Carla realised that had he have been a better man, had he had stepped up and been honest from the start, she might not have been the disaster that she is right now.

He stood by and watched her grow up in what could only be described as a place of hell.

He stood by and let her marry her own third cousin.

He did nothing and here was, after all of that… still doing nothing… still not being a father.

Carla thought about the man who she had always thought as her Dad, the one who was living a meaningless existence who had never even bothered with her, the one who she used to think if he had stuck around maybe things wouldn't have been so bad.

Now she couldn't think, was it any wonder he didn't want nothing to do with her... maybe he knew her mother cheated, maybe he knew Carla wasn't his baby and maybe thats why he walked out... maybe he didn't want to spend his time bringing up a kid that wasn't his.

It was then that Carla realised that she had spent her whole life hating the wrong man.

Her first reaction was anger, so much anger that her first instinct was to claw Johnny Connor's eyes out but she didn't because her second thought suddenly clouded the first.

Her second thought was that maybe… just maybe things would be okay if she told her loved ones.

Michelle.

Roy.

Nick.

She wanted to tell them all so bad because she thought they'd be able to help her… only they didn't, their words didn't do anything to stop Carla from feeling so numb and if anything their reactions were extremely underwhelming.

It wasn't their fault and at first Carla couldn't work out was wrong with her friend's/boyfriends reaction to all of this, it took her some time but she eventually figured out that she wanted anger and that was one reason she was sat in this backstreet cafe.

The other reason she was there was because the news that she was no longer who she thought she was, sent her into a world of complete and utter Self-destruction... because that was what Carla was good at after all.

Ruining everything good in her sorry life.

The gambling and the heavy drinking came back into her daily habits like an old friend and as she sat and frittered endless amounts of money away, she also did the same with her relationship with Nick.

She drunkenly went to bed with a man that she barley knew and now she had a continuous feeling of guilt to go with the feeling of just not knowing who she was anymore.

The only thing she could think say to Nick other than the obvious and heart felt " _I'm Sorry"_ was that she warned him.

She warned him that she'd hurt him in the end and that she wished he had of listened to her and not been foolish enough to still take the risk.

She could already see the look on his face.

She could already feel the hurt he'd have in his eyes when he found out and on top of everything she couldn't cope with it.

The only thing worse than not telling Nick would be telling him.

So she didn't, she didn't because she loved him so much.

She didn't because she also knew how much he loved her... telling him would rid her of his love and then she really would have nothing left.

It wasn't easy of course, in fact it was one of the hardest things Carla had to do.

She had to go through each day feeling endless amounts of guilt and as the days turned into weeks Carla wasn't sure that she could cope with it anymore and that's the other reason that she ended up where she was right now.

In a Café near her old estate, a place where she and Rob would go and share a hot cup of tea and maybe a full English if they were lucky enough to have scraped together the money for it, the food really wasn't that great and neither was the tea but it was miles better than they were both offered at home.

No one knew where Carla was, she had just walked out of her flat and made her way here without telling a soul.

She didn't tell Michelle because she'd say it wasn't a good idea.

She didn't tell Nick because he'd be hurt that she couldn't get what she needed from him and she'd also have to be honest, which was something she had been trying desperately to avoid.

She wasn't sure when it had exactly happened, when she had decided that she needed to do this, all her days seemed to blur into one now she was getting barley any sleep so Carla wasn't sure the exact moment when she pressed that little phone symbol on her phone and let it dial that number she had secretly saved.

The one that she had been reluctant to delete and the one she wasn't even sure he had anymore.

She hadn't planned it.

He wasn't someone that she really wanted to see at first but when torturing her self with everything that had happened to her, she couldn't help but wonder what his reaction would be like.

She wondered what he'd look like when she told him and what he'd say.

She knew it would be so different to the reactions she had encountered recently and the thought of what he might do made Carla pick up that phone.

She didn't say much.

She just asked to see him.

She gave him a time… a place and a date before hanging up.

It was now that time, that place and that date and Carla found her self clutching onto her half drunk, cup of cold coffee for dear life.

If he didn't turn up she didn't know what she'd do.

As she sat in the horrible plastic chair, she looked down at the screensaver of her and Nick, the one they had taken on Christmas Day and the last truly happy photo she had of the pair. She stroked the screen sadly and wished that Nick's reaction to Johnny being her Dad could have satisfied her.

She knew it was selfish but she also knew that this had to be done, that the man she was waiting for, knew more about her than anyone else and when it came to her childhood, he had been the first man that she had felt comfortable enough to open up with about it.

He would say something different, do something different, react different and different was what she was counting on.

She needed a proper reaction to all of this, one with anger and passion.

She needed _his_ reaction and just as Carla was beginning to think that this was too much, that surely he wouldn't make a trip all the way from Portsmouth to some grim and grey café just because she had asked him to, there he was.

Peter had arrived...


	2. Anger

She couldn't believe that he had come.

That he had made that journey and that here he was stood only feet in front of her… just because she had asked him too.

As he walked towards the table she was sitting on, Carla took a deep breath and gave him the best version of a smile that she could give.

"Hi." She said, as he sat down in front of her. He was wearing a leather jacket.

He was still bearded just like the last time that she had seen him and he was still utterly captivating Carla without even meaning to.

"Hi." He replied, he gazed around the café and then looked at her again, she bit her bottom lip and then cleared her throat even though she didn't have to.

"Erm… D'ya wanna get a drink or?" she began, not knowing now where to start with things.

"Sure." He said, Carla was about to get up and get it for him but Peter stood up first. "I'll go." He said, before licking his lips and walking over to the till. He must have only been gone for a minute but it felt like much, much longer.

Waiting for Peter to come back felt like torture for Carla and by the time he returned to the table she was completely on edge.

He sat down in front of her again and rested both arms on the table that was criminally placed in between the two of them.

He smiled warmly at Carla and tried not to show how nervous he was about being in her presence.

"It's good to see ya Peter." She said, genuinely nodding at him because amongst everything, seeing him sat in front of her made her feel just a little like herself again.

Like one of those pieces that had been missing since finding out about Johnny had returned to her.

"Yeah you too." He said, as the greasy haired man from behind the till, brought over two murky white mugs of coffee.

There was one for Peter and one for Carla.

She hadn't asked him to get her another drink but he had noticed the half drunk cup that was in front of her and had guessed it was probably cold.

He guessed that she had been sat there for ages by now and he was right.

He nodded at the man who'd brought over the probably stale coffees and then looked back at a anxious but also grateful Carla, who then said,

"Thanks for this."

Peter nodded at her too and even though his mind was going about one thousand miles a minute, wondering why Carla had asked him here today, he remained patient.

They both sat in the rather grimy café in complete silence.

Neither one spoke for a while as they tried really hard to pretend as if things weren't categorically awkward between them.

They tried to act as if this moment hadn't been a long time coming.

As if the other hadn't been sat in their homes at some point, wondering when the time would come for them to see each other again.

"You look well." Carla eventually said, she wasn't quite sure why she said that exact sentence but what she was sure of, was that it was true.

Peter looked really well, healthy and truly like he hadn't touched a drop of alcohol in the longest time, which he hadn't.

"I wish I could say the same to you." He said delicately, looking at the dark circles, which were underneath Carla's eyes. She nodded at him because she had already known how rough she must have looked, although it didn't stop her feeling a little self-conscious and saying a half hearted,

"Gee thanks." Peter suddenly looked apologetic and then began talking again, so that she didn't feel too bad for too long.

"I'm sorry… it's just… you look really exhausted… still out of this world and achingly beautiful but... exhausted all the same." As he spoke he wrapped his hands around the hot cup of coffee just to keep warm because the café they were in was freezing and it was so run down that it didn't look like they had any sort of heating in place either.

Carla on the other hand, suddenly felt all hot. She looked down when Peter had called her beautiful and she just couldn't believe that he still had this overwhelming and "school girl butterfly" causing effect on her.

Peter lifted his cup up to his lips and took a sip of coffee as Carla tried to shake off the compliment that he had just bestowed upon her.

She tried to remember that a long time ago she had promised herself that she would never… ever go back there.

She had promised herself that she would never let Peter Barlow back in and yet here she was, sat only centimetres away from him and about to tell him the biggest thing that had happened in her life recently.

"I'm… not really sleeping much at the moment." Carla finally said. Soon deciding that she was done with what she had told her self in the past as Peter put his cup down on the table.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He said, watching Carla as she sat stiffly before him.

He could see that she was truly struggling, he could see that she had something that she wanted to say but that she was nervous… scared in fact and this bothered him.

This made his mind go to all sorts of places and as he tried to stay calm he picked up the coffee cup again, just to keep busy even though it tasted terrible.

"This... is rank." Peter said wincing and making Carla laugh a little.

It was a cute laugh, one that didn't last very long and one that made Peter think,

 _"Well at least I got to see her laugh again... even if it was just for a few seconds."_

"Me n Rob used to hang out ere as kids... I don't know why I picked it really..." Carla said, before becoming quiet once more.

Quiet as Peter took another sip of his awful drink and quiet as he gazed around the dismal surroundings she had subjected him to.

She wondered why she just couldn't come out with it, why she couldn't just say it without thinking twice, just like her so called father had done to her that Monday night.

"Thanks for coming ere Peter… I really appreciate it." Carla said, hoping that this time she'd come out with it.

Hoping that she wouldn't stall again because she wasn't sure if she could take much more of sitting opposite this man in silence.

A silence between two people like Carla and Peter could be very dangerous, especially when they used to be able to tell each other everything... even when they were saying nothing.

"You're welcome." Peter nodded again but keeping quiet all the same and not saying another word because he wanted whatever this was to be on Carla's terms and not his.

As they talked about their Christmases and made small talk he still couldn't help but think,

 _"_ _Why on earth has she called me here? What's going on?"_

But again, he kept his mouth shut and let her take her time with it, knowing that sooner or later it would come out.

It didn't take Carla long to realise that Peter was just humouring her, that he was desperate to find out why his presence was necessary and why on earth she just couldn't sit still.

Every so often she would run a hand frustratedly through her hair or shake her head a little, she really was on the brink of losing it if she didn't say something about Johnny soon.

"How come you aven't asked me why you're ere?" She asked, staring at Peter reverently.

"Because I reckon after everything I've done… that I should be thanking my lucky stars that you're even giving me the time of day…" Peter began watching her affectionately, "Besides… I'm sure you're getting to it." Peter said, smiling at Carla softly and resting his hands back onto the table.

He wanted to give her the time she needed to speak, he didn't want to rush her into saying or doing anything… not until _she_ was ready.

Carla smiled back at him sadly, she had to resist from reaching out and taking hold of his hands and so she put hers together instead on her lap and said,

"I am… I really am." but much to Carla's fear, another torturous few minutes of silence went by before she could gather up the words to say, "Do… you ever remember me talking about… Johnny Connor?"

"Yeah… vaguely…" Peter said, guessing that this was the beginning of what ever seemed to be keeping Carla awake at night. "He's Michelle's… Uncle or something… right?"

"Her cousin… second cousin but still family." Carla said, struggling to speak about this without trembling because the thought of Paul and Liam both sharing even the tiniest amount of her DNA almost made her want to throw up.

Johnny had not only stood by and let her have the childhood of nightmares but he had now tainted her relationships with Paul and Liam…

This was something else that Carla felt like she was never ever going to get over.

"Okay…" Peter nodded, he couldn't even begin to know what she was about to say so he just waited patiently for Carla to continue once more.

"He didn't live too far from ere y'know… I mean he was far enough to not be a part of that dreadful place that I had to call home but close enough that I saw him… a lot... I saw him… too much actually now I think about it." She paused and took a deep breath when she remembered the countless Connor birthday parties she had attended.

The ones where Johnny would approach her and casually ask her how she was doing, she had always just taken his interest in her as him being nice but now she knew why and she couldn't stand it.

She absent-mindedly put one hand on the table in front of her and it wasn't even a second before she felt Peter's touch.

He swallowed as she looked down, wondering if he had maybe crossed the line.

He had ever so gently taken hold of her hand and he clung onto it.

He didn't let go as she looked back up at him even though he looked a little worried that he was over stepping the mark.

He then nodded at Carla... wanting... needing her to continue.

The grip he hand on her hand gave her the strength that she needed to say,

"It turns out... that Johnny Connor... is my Dad…"

"What?" Peter said, his word coming out instantly and rather furiously.

It wasn't like the confused _whats_ that she had received from her loved ones, it was more of an outraged one.

"He cheated on his wife with my Mum... nine months later I were born." Carla said with a sad sniff, remembering how much of an accident Johnny had made her feel like.

He'd never said it but his words and his way had made her feel totally worthless.

"How did you find all this out?" Peter asked, watching Carla and not taking his brown eyes off her for a second because it was clear to him that this information had totally rocked her entire world, he still had hold of her hand because he wanted to let her know that he was still there for her… even if they weren't an item anymore.

"He told me…" Carla said, "He just came out with it one night after Christmas but not because he wanted to be a proper Dad or out... he only told me because my baby brother Rob was blackmailing him for ten grand." Peter leant back a little as he took in this new information. He looked down at his hands, which still he had rested on the table and still had one entwined with one of Carla's.

"And you're sure he's your Dad?" he asked looking back up at her. "This isn't some messed up idea of Rob's…" He wanted to make sure he knew all of the information before he reacted properly. Carla let out a frustrated laugh before nodding and saying,

"That's what I thought at first but yes… he somehow got hold of me DNA and had a test done… he's definitely me Dad."

Peter swallowed as Carla looked, almost ashamedly down at her lap.

He thought that she looked totally lost, as if she didn't know who she was anymore and he was right.

That was exactly how she felt.

He still wasn't sure exactly why she was telling him this new news of hers.

Why she had sought him out and told him when she clearly had a new man in her life, one that he had heard she was engaged to and one that he detested with every bone in his body.

"Okay…" Peter nodded, "Tell me to shut up if you need to… but this Johnny… did he know? Did he know about this before hand? Like when you were a kid n stuff?"

He could feel his anger levels rising as he spoke but he kept calm… for now at least… again wanting to find out as much information as he could before doing anything else.

"You mean did he ave his suspicions?" Carla asked. Peter nodded at her, his left hand clenched into a fist and his right still holding onto Carla's. "Yes… he said he always thought it was a possibility."

"Carla…" Peter said, taking a deep breath and swallowing hard just so he could stay calm because he was seriously stating to find it difficult to stay put in his seat.

"What?"

"Did you tell Nick about this?"

Peter, saying Nick's name… properly and out loud came as a shock to them both.

Peter hated the idea of Carla and Nick from the moment he had heard about it from Simon.

And Carla?

Well she hated the idea of talking to Peter about Nick at all, which she couldn't understand because whenever she thought about this moment before... when she'd imagined the moment that she would get to see Peter again and talk about how she had found love with Nick, she thought she'd feel smug.

She thought she'd feel content and proud to show him that she had learned to love again.

She thought that she'd show him that he hadn't completely ruined her life and that she had moved on but no.

Now… well now it was weird, awkward and if she was honest with herself, downright painful.

So painful that all she could do was nod at him and not talk about Nick too much because she also felt terrible for not telling him where she was right now.

This was another secret that she was keeping from him.

"And what did he do?" Peter asked, really hoping that Nick had been the man that Carla had needed him to be and that he had looked after her… but seeing as she was now sat in front of him, after months and months of them having absolutely no contact other than that agonising look the day after Deirdre's funeral, he'd guessed that Nick's reaction hadn't been up to much.

"Nothing really…" Carla said awkwardly.

"Nothing?" Peter repeated, not understanding how someone had managed to hurt Carla and Nick hadn't reacted in some sort of furious way.

"Well not nothing…" Carla began, biting down on her bottom lip and feeling bad for almost bad mouthing Nick. "He's been there for me as best he can… I know that he's really trying… I'm just starting to think that maybe he can't handle me in all my dramatic glory… I told Chelle… n Roy but they've all just been talking at me… not to me y'know… I just needed someone else to talk to about this…" She gasped, taking in a quick breath and trying to not lose all control.

"Hey..." Peter breathed, "It's okay…" he said as Carla looked like she might burst into tears at any minute. He waited for her to calm down and when she had done so he said, "Again... tell me to shut up but are you sitting ere… and telling me that this Johnny guy… knew... that he knew he could ave be your Dad the entire time and he did nothing…"

"Yes…" Carla nodded, finally seeing and feeling a little bit of that anger that she had wanted, come from someone else. Peter's grip on her hand tightened and as his eyebrows were now furrowed together in fury.

"So he let you… grow up… in that house… with that Mother of yours and he did nothing?" Peter asked, causing Carla to nod again.

Peter was one of the very few people who knew all about Carla's childhood.

She had poured it all out to him over the course of their relationship and the idea that someone maybe could have saved her from it but didn't… well it completely enraged Peter.

"And he let you… marry your own cousin?" He looked totally disgusted now… disgusted and furious... with Johnny.

"Yes…" Carla said, a tear running down her pale cheek as she went over everything that Peter had just said.

She was glad he was feeling like she did.

She was glad he had all the same questions that she did and she didn't feel so alone anymore.

"Where is he?" Peter asked, abruptly letting go of Carla's hand as he spoke and making her jump slightly.

"Who?" Carla swallowed, "Johnny?"

"Yes Johnny… the man who has totally screwed up your life… where the hell is he?" Peter asked, his right fist still clenched.

He knew that this was all a little hypocritical.

He knew that he had caused Carla a hell of a lot of pain and that he really had no right to be so angry but he didn't give a damn.

He felt the anger pump through his veins as he thought about this Johnny character and he knew that had to do something about it.

"Who said he's screwed up my life?" Carla asked, although Peter was bang on and Johnny's news had totally ruined everything.

He had ruined her relationship with Paul, Liam and now Nick.

"Answer the question Carla." Peter said, knowing that she knew full well how clear it was that she was a broken woman… he had seen this look on her before.

He had caused her enough pain to know exactly when she was hurting, after all.

"Does he still live round ere?" Peter asked, staring at Carla intensely and not letting up... not until she said,

"No… he lives in Weatherfield, he's staying at Michelle's old place."

"That's all I need to know." Peter nodded and with that, he got right up. Sending the cheap plastic chair that he was sat on flying behind him.

He couldn't understand why Nick hadn't had it out with Johnny, why he hadn't stuck up for his wife to be and the only conclusion that he had come to... was that this is why Carla had called him.

"Peter!" she cried, getting up too and running after him. "Where the hell are you going?"

"I'm gonna kill him!" Peter cried, walking right out of the café in a fit of pure rage.


	3. Why?

_**Thanks to all who have read n reviewed this one so far... It was only going to be three chapters long but my mad mind had decided to take it a little further...**_

* * *

"Peter!" Carla cried, running after him as his pace had picked up. He was clearly outraged and he didn't look like he would stop for anyone. "Where are you going?"

"Where do ya think?" Peter said, shaking his head and continuing forward. "I want to speak to this Johnny…. Actually I lie… I want to kick his flamin head in."

"Peter… Don't!" Carla begged, running and stopping in front of him so that he couldn't go no further.

"Why not?" He asked, staring at Carla and breathing heavily. "Why on earth not? This guy sounds like a real scumbag."

He had thought about everything that Carla had told him.

That this Johnny had let her grow up the way she had even though he had suspicions that he might be her father and that the only reason he had told her was because he was being blackmailed.

He had sat in that horrible cafe with Carla and listened to her say that the reactions of her loved ones hadn't been up to much... He had guessed that this was what she wanted.

Some anger... Some passion.

Yes, Peter was sure that Carla had wanted him to react this way.

So why was she now asking him to stop?

Nothing about any of this made sense and Peter soon found that he was repeating himself.

"Carla... why not?"

"Because…" She began, taking a deep breath in and then shaking her head in anguish.

It was Carla's turn to repeat herself now.

"Because..."

"Because what?" Peter asked in despair. "I don't understand any of this… Why did you call me ere if you didn't want me to kick off? You must have known I'd get like this. Why did you tell me all that stuff about Nick's reaction? If you didn't want me to react this way, Why?"

"I did want you to react this way…" Carla said, unknowingly still stood in front of Peter with a hand placed on his chest.

He just stared at her for a moment, still not completely understanding what he was here for.

"I wanted this... I needed this... something other than words... I just… I needed someone else to feel like I did… confused, angry…" Carla began, almost breathlessly because she was trying to get out all of her emotions at once.

"I do…" Peter nodded, "I really do feel that way Carla… which is why I want to smash Johnny Connor's face in."

"N What good is that gonna do eh?" Carla asked, shaking her head and sniffing because she felt like she was about to burst into tears at any moment.

None of this was going the way she had planned.

She couldn't understand it.

She couldn't comprehend the way that she was feeling.

This was what she wanted, right?

For some one to be as angry as she was and to maybe even hurt Johnny… just a little bit.

So why was she now holding Peter back?

Why didn't she let him just go and lash out at Johnny and be done with it?

Nick.

That was why.

Nick was the reason that she was now stood, literally holding Peter back.

Carla knew that Nick knowing about her little meet up with Peter would wound him.

If Nick found out that Carla had gone to Peter for something that he just couldn't provide, it would sincerely hurt him and Carla knew that.

She knew it was cause him a whole load of pain and pain was something that she desperately wanted to spare Nick from… especially after what she had done to him with Robert.

"Well Peter?" Carla asked, when he hadn't responded to her question. He was still stood intensely in front of her, like at any moment he would charge forward and continue to go for her new found Dad. "What good would it do eh?"

"Well it'd make me feel a hell of a lot better for a start…" Peter nodded, although he knew full well that hurting Johnny really wouldn't actually do any good for... anyone.

He knew that violence really wasn't the answer and since living in Portsmouth, he had been trying so hard to not lead with his fists when he got so angry.

He was trying to be a changed man, a reformed character and Peter had to admit it alarmed him that spending only half and hour or so with Carla could have such an immense effect.

"And what about me? Do you really think you giving Johnny a good old smack is going to make me feel better? Do you think I'll feel like me again? Do you think I wont feel like a dirty little accident… do you think I won't feel like a horrible mistake?" Carla sniffed.

Tears were soon pouring down her cheeks and her voice had cracked towards the end of her sentence, which had made Peter gingerly reach out and gently wipe those tears away.

"He didn't…" He began, shaking his head at the mere thought of it. "He didn't say you were a mistake did he?" As he continued to think about this man say those very words to Carla, he very quickly felt the anger begin to pump through his veins.

Peter knew that the next words that came out of Carla's mouth could be game changing ones.

If he had heard that she had been called a mistake then that was going to be it.

If he found out that Johnny had said anything of the sort to Carla… Well then he would go crazy and there was no way that she would have been able to stop him this time either.

"No… He didn't say that… He just… made me feel that way." Said Carla. It was freezing cold outside, that horrible January weather that had always made Carla want to retreat inside but being stood with Peter's gentle hand rested on her cheek, made Carla feel ridiculously hot.

He eventually let go of her.

He had to really... especially since Carla wasn't his to touch so tenderly anymore.

He had messed it up... big time and he had no right to be touching her so softly when he had caused her the most pain that she had ever known.

He let go of Carla's cheek and put his hand by his side, knowing that if he hadn't done it there and then that he would have probably never ever let go of her.

Carla sniffed again but tried not to cry anymore...

One because Peter's touch was extremely overwhelming and two because she felt as if she had already shed too many tears of over Johnny.

"Look… I wont do anything that you don't want me to…" Peter eventually said, watching Carla who was still teary eyed and still clearly upset. "I just… I don't know what else to do… do you want to go back to the café?

"No." Carla said instantly. "I don't… wanna go back there." She shuddered as she shook her head and folded her arms.

She couldn't bear another moment in that dreadful place, the one where she and Rob used to find comfort.

Where they used to find real solace and where they had a warm place to keep safe whilst their Mum was on one of her drunken benders... or worse.

"Okay…" Peter nodded, dying for a cigarette right about now. He soon went into his pocket and pulled out a box of fags because once again, Carla had gone into quiet mode.

As Peter lit his cigarette, he leant against a wall that they were now stood in front of and he just watched Carla for a while.

He saw at the haunted look in her eyes and the dark circles that were beneath them and he couldn't help but bite his lip and say,

"Look at you..."

"I'm alright..." She lied and for a moment, she looked like she was about to start speaking again but as Peter inhaled, she just shook her head and looked down.

They shared a silence, one which was almost deafening but after rather a while and after Peter was more than half way through his cigarette, Carla began to speak again.

"He's got kids y'know… Aidan n Kate… My little brother n Sister… They've been working at the factory with me for months and months and I had no idea… He begged me not to tell em… didn't want them to know that he cheated on their Mum."

"Course he didn't…" Peter tutted in disgust.

Of course he wasn't one to talk about cheating but at this point, he really didn't care.

He didn't care how much of a hypocrite his behaviour made him, someone had hurt Carla and making her feel better was all that he cared about.

"Chelle n Nick didn't want me to say anything either… and Roy. They all said I should do what Johnny wanted… keep me mouth shut for the sake of Kate n Aidan…" Carla continued as Peter blew smoke from his parted lips.

"And what about what you wanted? Did any of them think about that?" He asked, tutting afterwards and not understanding why the people in Carla's life right now seemed to talk at her and not to her. "Did they?"

"No…" Carla shook her head back at him, she still felt guilty for talking about Nick and her friends that way but she couldn't help it… this was just the way that she felt. "They mean well I just… I don't know, maybe they just don't understand me as much as I thought… then again these days... I feel like no one understands me."

Peter didn't respond at first.

He kept quiet... and so did she.

She didn't want to say it.

She didn't want to admit that Peter was probably the only person who understood her.

Even now, after the cheating and all the time that they had spent apart, it seemed like Peter could still read her like a book.

"So… is that why you don't want me going after Johnny then? So his kids don't find out?' Peter eventually asked, the last bit of his cigarette in his mouth as he spoke.

"Oh they know…" Carla said, shaking his head. "I gave Johnny the chance to be honest but he refused… So in the end… I told em."

"Good." Peter said with half a smirk and even though Carla was feeling totally wretched, she couldn't help but smirk back at him.

"Were you really planning on hitting Johnny?" She asked.

"Yes." Peter said plainly. "And I can't believe Nick hasn't done it yet either."

It was Carla's turn not respond this time.

She didn't reply to this comment.

She just kept quiet because she still didn't like talking to Peter about Nick.

She wondered how he had felt whenever he'd found out about Nick.

She wondered who had told him…

 _"_ _Maybe it was Simon."_ She thought.

She wondered if he'd got mad, angry or even sad.

She even wondered if he'd shed a little tear… because she had done.

She hadn't told anyone though, no one knew.

A few days after getting together with Nick, she had been sat alone in her flat and she had somehow let herself think about Peter.

She let herself think about what they had shared and before she knew it a tear had escaped down her cheek.

She cried because at one point, she and Peter were so content.

At one point she felt like everything was almost perfect and she cried because she knew she would never get that feeling back.

"I'm sorry Peter." Carla sighed, breaking the silence in the end and shaking her head once again in disbelief.

"Sorry?" He asked, throwing his cigarette butt onto the ground below him. "What on earth for?"

"For this… it were selfish of me to ask you out ere like this… I just… didn't know what else to do." Carla swallowed, a nasty taste in the back of her throat due to the awful coffee from the cafe.

"Don't say sorry…" Peter sighed sympathetically, he rubbed his hands together in the cold and kept quiet again.

Even though he was driving himself crazy with the amount of questions he had.

He knew there was something else.

There had to be something else because Carla was still on edge.

She was still fidgety and as he stood by her, Peter knew she had something else to tell him.

"What did you tell your girlfriend about this?" Carla asked, staring at Peter closely and hoping he had been truthful.

She hoped he wasn't lying to his new love and that he truly had changed.

She couldn't bear the idea of being the reason that Peter would be lying again.

The idea that Peter's girlfriend could be sat somewhere, maybe believing that he was somewhere else because of her, made her detest herself even more than she did already.

"The truth… that I had a friend up ere that really needed my help." Peter said, wondering how Carla knew that he had a girlfriend.

"Simon…" Carla said, reading his curious expression. "He told Leanne… Leanne told Eva… n well everyone knows now."

"Oh right…" Peter nodded, half chuckling and half wanting to cry.

He didn't want everyone to know that he had someone else.

He didn't want everyone to know that he had supposedly moved on because in reality, he knew that he would never ever be over Carla.

He knew that she would always be the love of his life and as he stood before her, he wished that he could do more to help her.

She looked damaged…. Broken and as the cold winds picked up and made her shiver, Peter did too.

He shivered so much so that Carla shook her head and said,

"Okay… Y'know what... I'm just gonna come out with it… I didn't just call you ere to tell you about Johnny…" She paused for a moment and she knew that once she spoke again, it would change the way Peter thought of her forever.

She didn't want to tell him.

She didn't want to admit the terrible truth but she didn't know what else to do.

She needed to know how he did it.

She needed to know how he coped because right now, she wasn't coping.

"Right…" Peter breathed nervously, "So… why else am I ere?" Carla took a large breath and let a tear run down her cheek before saying,

"Because I need to know… I need to know how you did it… how you kept it a secret for so long and how you didn't end up going completely batty." Carla sniffed.

"Did what?" Peter asked, moving towards Carla who was crying properly now.

She clearly found it hard to control her self and as two passers by looked concerned, Peter took her gently by the arm and said,

"Maybe we should go back in the cafe…"

"No!" Carla cried, "I told you I don't wanna go back in there… besides… me going in there will only distract me from what I need to say and I have to say it… I have to know Peter."

"Okay…" Peter nodded, getting slightly concerned by the state that Carla was in because she was almost erratic. "What is it? What is it you need to say?"

"I…" She began, closing her eyes and not wanting to look at Peter as she said it, "I cheated on Nick."


	4. Regret

Out of all the things that Peter had thought Carla might tell him… This would have been the very last thing Peter had expected.

He thought he had prepared himself for it.

That whatever Carla was going to tell him would definitely be something he could handle but no…

Hearing that she had cheated on Nick had totally shocked him to his core.

That wasn't something Peter had ever thought Carla could do… not to anyone, not again.

He thought that everything he had done to her would have really made her determined not to be the same and yet...

He then paused for a moment and kept quiet, not wanting to jump to any conclusions about the situation… not before he had all the facts.

There had to be a lot more to all of this.

"You… What?" He ended up saying, after endless moments of silence as he watched the look on Carla's anguished face.

"You heard me." Carla said, it was very clear that she was trying very hard not to burst right into tears as she spoke.

It was also very clear that she was totally mortified.

"I…" Peter began, swallowing hard and then shaking his head. "I'm sorry... I just don't know what you want me to say." Carla nodded at him and folded her arms as the wind that surrounded them got harsher.

There was another, very long silence before Peter eventually spoke again. Carla could tell that he was completely and utterly stunned by her latest revelation and she already hated the way he was looking at her.

He was also stood with his arms folded, watching her but also shaking his head slowly, still in total awe of what he had just heard.

"Ermmm you said…" He cleared his throat awkwardly, "You said you wanted to know how I did it…"

"Yeah." Carla nodded again, her voice quiet as if she was totally ashamed of herself.

"How… I cheated for so long without saying anything?" Peters voice was quiet now because he too was ashamed of his behaviour.

"I don't want you to feel bad Peter." Carla said, reading his expression and feeling terrible. "I just… I don't know what to do anymore… I can't stop thinking about what I did."

"Am I the only person who you've told?" Peter asked,

"No... Chelle knows what I did but she just keeps telling me not to say anything." Carla answered.

"Who is it?" Peter said, staring at Carla intently.

He had to ask.

He had to know.

"Who did you… Who was he?" Peter asked, trying to rack his brains and think of someone that Carla would have cheated on Nick with.

He couldn't come up with anyone that would make sense so he just assumed it was someone he didn't know as Carla shook her head and sorrowfully asked,

"Does it matter?" There was no way she wanted to admit to Peter that she had slept with his sister's boyfriend but she also knew that if he really wanted to get it out of her then he could have.

Peter still seemed to have a hold on Carla, even after all this time.

He still had all of her attention and she couldn't do anything to stop it either.

"I guess not…" Peter began, "I'm just… Finding this hard to get me head around." He explained, sighing sadly and wanting desperately to find out more.

"Why?" Carla asked almost irritatedly, she still couldn't stand the way Peter was looking at her because he looked so stunned… almost disappointed in fact.

He was acting as if she was some sort of angel, someone who had never done anything hurt anyone.

Carla hated that Peter was watching her like that, like she was good because knew she was nothing of the sort.

"Because… After what I did to you, I just can't imagine you…" Peter stopped talking as Carla sighed and nodded at him. He hated talking about what he did to Carla, especially to her.

It was still so raw... the pain he caused even though it had been so long since it all happened... neither one of them would forget it.

"What? Doing the same?" Carla said, letting out a bitter laugh and shaking her head. "Well I did… Just the once mind but still… I cheated."

"When did all this happen?" Peter asked, feeling slightly odd for talking about such a subject in the middle of the street.

It was almost five pm and it was beginning to get dark too, it was so cold that they cold both see their breath as they spoke and so cold that as the bitter winds blew at them again, both of their bodies shook simultaneously.

"New Years Day." Carla replied, shaking her head and sniffing because that was actually the day after Nick's birthday. That was the day she had cheated on him and it only made her feel even more despicable.

"So…. Was that after you found out about Jonny then?" Peter asked, slowly but surely understanding a little more about the situation.

"Yeah." Carla said, looking down at her cold hands, which had turned red from the cold. "It's no excuse though… Not really."

"Oh come on…" Peter said sympathetically. "Carla your world has just been totally turned upside down… You're bound to make a few mistakes because of it…" He watched as Carla shivered again, shaking her head because in her eyes there was absolutely no excuse for what she had done.

"Yeah well... that mistake... it haunts me day and night." Carla said, "I haven't been able to think about anything else." She added, although she wasn't being one hundred per-cent truthful now.

Since deciding that she needed to confide in Peter about this, Carla's mind had been slightly pre-occupied. She had been able to spend some time without thinking about cheating on Nick… although it probably wasn't so great that she had been thinking all about Peter instead.

"So go on then…" Carla breathed, "How d'ya manage not to go completely crazy then?" Peter lit another cigarette, mainly just because he felt like having a cigarette would warm him up. Carla raised an eyebrow at him and waited as patiently as she could for his answer.

"Well?' She eventually said, "Peter please? I can't understand how you managed to keep… her quiet for so long…"

Even now, after all these months… years in fact, Carla still couldn't say her name.

She still couldn't speak the name of the woman who tore her world apart and she could probably never speak that name again.

"Peter… How did you do it? I'm desperate ere." Peter could see that. It was obvious that she was desperate. Her green eyes were red, her nose was sore and her body trembled when the winds came once again.

"You know how I did it…" Peter began, taking his lit cigarette out of his mouth and licking his lips. Carla frowned slightly at Peter so he took it too mean that she didn't understand. "I drank… I drank a lot."

Carla didn't say anything then, she just sighed and swallowed as Peter took a very long and deep drag of his fag.

She suddenly felt slightly disappointed because she had hoped that Peter had come up with some vast coping mechanism that had helped him get through it but in reality, she remembered how he really had just drunk his way through it all and that was something that Carla knew wasn't going to help.

Alcohol no longer numbed the pain anymore.

"It was different when I cheated on Leanne you see…" Peter said, breaking the silence, as the sun almost set in the distance. "I didn't have to drink my way through it because I didn't feel all that bad… Wait, that sounds terrible but what I mean is that by the time me and you had got together I had pretty much fallen out of love with her."

Peter hated the way this all sounded. He hated that he had quite a bit of experience in betraying the women in his life and most of all he hated that he had to draw on it to make Carla feel some sort of comfort.

"Okay…" Carla nodded, looking down at her frozen hands for a moment instead of looking at Peter.

"But with you…" Peter began again, staring at Carla attentively and moving closer to her as he threw the rest of his cigarette onto the ground. She looked back up at him as he continue to speak. "With you it was different, a lot different… it was agony…"

"N why's that?" Carla asked, watching him fixedly, with her eyes wide and as if she was hanging on his every word.

"Because I never fell out of love with you… I could never fall out love with you Carla." Peter said, shaking his head solemnly.

Peter's words made Carla feel utterly... completely weak.

She hadn't been expecting him to say something so heart warming... something so overwhelming and even though it was too little too late, she still couldn't help but let a very small smile creep onto her face.

"Believe it or not I really detested what I did to you Carla... and ultimately that's why I ended up back on the booze… it was my way of coping with it all." Peter explained,

Carla nodded slowly remembering exactly when Peter had started drinking again, remembering how it had felt when he had come home and she could smell the alcohol on his breath for that first time in ages.

She remembered feeling totally useless and as if it was something that she was doing that had driven him to the drink.

Peter must have read her mind because suddenly he shook his head at Carla and said a very stern,

"None of it was your fault Carla. I deeply regret what I did to you every single day of my life. I was a foolish... foolish man, I let my ego get the better of me and I ruined absolutely everything… it was nothing to do with you… please know that. Carla you are perfect."

"No I'm not." Carla said plainly, shaking her head for about the a hundredth time that day.

She couldn't bare to be complimented these days, not by anyone, especially not by Peter.

"I'm not perfect…" She sniffed, tears piercing her eyes as Peter stood before her.

She was clearly getting herself worked up again as she thought about what Peter had just said.

"I'm no where flamin near Perfect… hell if I were perfect you wouldn't have gone off with someone else would ya?"

"Carla don't…" Peter begged, watching Carla as the tears that were beneath her eyes spilled down her cheeks.

"It's true Peter…" Carla continued, almost short of breath. "If I were perfect me own Dad wouldn't have abandoned me for all those years and if I were perfect I wouldn't have slept with Robert."

Peter had stepped forward to take hold of Carla to calm her down but when he heard the name Robert he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Robert?" He said, mentally going through all the Roberts he knew.

There was an old mate called Robert from school, a friend from work called Robert and then there was...

"Robert Preston?" Peter said, staring at Carla in disbelief.

She just nodded. What else could she do?

"Yep…" Carla inhaled, she could tell that Peter was thinking all sorts about her and if she was honest she couldn't blame him. "It wasn't planned… It were nothing to do with him… not really. I weren't in my right mind, I was a complete mess and he were just there really… Y'know I'd like to blame it all on the amount I had been drinking that night but if I'm honest… I weren't that drunk… Not really... I knew exactly what I were doing… I walked right out of that casino with him... I went to bed with him and I didn't even think twice about it."

Once again Peter was speechless. He didn't actually know what to say by this point.

Now he was not only informed that Carla had cheated on Nick but he was informed that it was with his Sister's ex husband... the same man she had recently got back with.

This situation just got a whole lot more complicated.

The word _Casino_ kept repeating back and forth in his head but before he could ask about it, Carla read his mind this time.

She ran a hand through her long hair and sighed heavily before saying,

"Last year… I went through a lot… I started gambling because unfortunately wine just doesn't quite do it for me anymore…" She paused and waited to see if Peter was going to speak again, he was still in utter astonishment but eventually… he did speak and what he did say, well Carla wasn't expecting it.

She was looking down again, ashamed. A few strands of her brown hair fell in front of her eyes but suddenly she felt a hand brush it out of her face and tuck it behind her ear.

Peter's touch was rather overwhelming for Carla and as he left a hand gently rested on her flushede cheek, he took a deep breath and said,

"What on earth ave I done to you eh?" Carla dithered in front of Peter and kept quiet as he bit his lip in a concerned fashion. "I should ave been better… This is all my fault… I should ave been a proper husband…"

At first Carla let him completely in.

She let him touch her and hold her.

She let Peter wash right over her and just for a moment she forgot all about Nick.

She suddenly felt just like she did back in 2012 when everything was different... new and exciting.

"Your life shouldn't be this way." Peter said quietly and he moved closer.

He moved too close because it was that step too far that snapped Carla back to reality.

"Yeah… well it is." She muttered as Peter devastatingly removed his hand from her cheek.

That was it.

The moment was over.

There was a long and lingering silence one only filled with the traffic that was speeding past them.

Carla stubbornly folded her arms again and then said,

"This is isn't about you Peter… or us…" She sounded panicked as she spoke.

As if that short but sublime moment between her and Peter meant more than they were both letting on.

"Things are different now… I'm different… I've changed… I've done things I could never imagined doing… I just really really don't know what to do anymore Peter." She wiped her a tear that had run down her cheek and sniffed again as he began to speak once more.

"Carla… I know that you must feel terrible about what happened with Robert but you weren't thinking straight."

"It doesn't matter Peter… it's no excuse." Carla said firmly, hating that Peter was making excuses for her. He was really trying to make her not feel bad and she couldn't help but think that she didn't deserve it.

"You interrupted me..." Peter said softly, putting his hands into his pockets and shuffling on his feet to keep warm. He had started to get a headache whilst being out in the cold and talking to Carla but he ignored the pain because she was still the most important thing in his world. "What I was going to say was that on top of all that, it only happened the once… I mean… let's be honest… it could ave been a lot worse... you could ave been me."

"No Peter… whether it was once or a hundred times. I betrayed Nick..." Carla sobbed, "I betrayed him and I cannot deal with keeping it a secret from him for much longer."

"Then don't." Peter said making Carla stop crying in an instant.

"What?" She asked, staring at him in awe.

"Don't keep it a secret… own up. Tell him what you did." Peter said, as if it was all so easy and as if that was what he had done when he had cheated in the past.

"But… it'll destroy him." Carla said, thinking about sitting down at telling Nick all about what she had done.

"It's destroying you." Peter replied gently, "You can't do this anymore… you need to tell him."

"He'll hate me." Carla nodded, "He really will."

"Yeah maybe… although I doubt it." Peter said, "Nick will understand... I mean he is no saint after all. He's betrayed the women in his life for reasons a lot more ridiculous than the one you ave." Peter had to stop himself just then, he didn't want to start bad mouthing Nick in front of Carla like this because he knew how bitter it would sound.

He knew it would sound like it was just because he was jealous so instead he just sighed and said, "If he loves you as much as I reckon he does… he'll forgive you."

Carla nodded again and really tried to take in what Peter had just said to her.

She tried to listen to him as much as she could but there was still a little voice inside her head that told her Nick wouldn't forgive her and that he would end things between them.

She then thought about not telling him... out of everything the only good thing about not telling Nick would be that he would probably never leave her.

If he didn't know, he would probably stay by her side forever and she wouldn't be alone.

"I know what you're thinking." Peter said, gaining Carla's full attention as he spoke. "How come I can tell you to own up when I lied to you for so long?"

"The thought had crossed me mind..." Carla said and it was well and truly dark now. It had also grown colder than ever and they both knew that they couldn't stay stood in the street for much longer.

They both knew that sooner or later they'd have to go.

"Well take it from someone who knows eh…" Peter said, "As hypocritical as this all sounds… Honesty really is the best policy."

"I know…" Carla agreed, "I just… I've been so scared to tell him because… I don't want to lose him… I really can't lose him Peter..."

"I know…" Peter nodded dejectedly, "I know... because that's exactly how I felt… about you."

Silence had then returned.

Carla couldn't quite look Peter in the eye because suddenly things made a little bit of sense.

Suddenly she understood just a little about why Peter had lied for so long.

Obviously she was still in turmoil over the fact she had been betrayed by him but as he stood before her... for the first time she felt as if she understood what he did and why.

"Seriously Carla… that man would be a complete and utter fool for letting you go over this." Peter said, smiling at Carla in the best way that he could.

He would never... never in a million years of dreamed that he would ever be trying to support Carla into sorting things out with another man… especially if that man was Nick Tilsley.

Peter would have normally assumed that he would have done everything in his power to stop Carla from moving on but he knew, deep down he knew that would be selfish, he knew that Carla deserved a world of happiness and if Nick made her feel that way then all Peter could do was try his hardest to get things right again.

"I'm… gonna tell him." Carla said bravely. "I should tell him."

"Yes." Peter nodded, "You really should… and not just about Robert… about me too. He should know it all Carla… he'd want to know it all."

"I know…" Carla said and after thinking about it some more she said. "I'm going to tell him tonight... I have to tell him. I can't live this way anymore." Carla added, sure that whatever happened tonight was going to define the rest of her life.

Whether Nick forgave her or not, she knew that from now on, things were going to change.

So there they stood... Carla and Peter.

In the freezing cold and whilst they made some very companionable small talk, It was easy for both of them to see that their time was pretty much up.

They had been talking like this for a long while now and now that Carla seemed to have what she needed to continue with her life and now that she had calmed down a little bit, Peter decided to bite the bullet first, he didn't want to of course, heck he could have stayed talking to Carla all night but he knew she had to go home... back to Nick.

"Right…" He said, "It's bloody freezing out ere, I think we better get going don't you."

"Yeah I spose you're right." Carla nodded, her heart beginning to pound as she thought about what going home and telling Nick would bring.

"Unless you're not ready..." Peter said, biting his lip again and waiting for Carla's response.

"I guess I'm ready as I'll ever be." Carla nodded again, taking a deep breath.

There was an awkward glance between the two before she rolled her eyes and slowly wrapped her arms around Peter's middle.

It was act that shocked them both but it was also an act that had been long over due.

"What's this in aid of?" Peter asked, trying not to get too moved by the way she was holding him so close to her.

"Don't be dense Peter." Carla tutted, shaking her head. "This is for today... you really didn't ave to come ere… you could ave just told me to get lost."

"Never." Peter said, shaking his head and letting himself embrace Carla back… just for a moment though, because being this close to her was torture... especially when he thought about it being the last time he'd get that close.

"Thank you." Carla breathed, absentmindedly taking in Peter's scent as she inhaled in the cold air that surrounded them.

"You're welcome." Peter replied, wondering if she'd let go first... which she did.

"What are you gonna do now then?" Carla asked, letting go and wondering if he'd maybe come back to the street with her. "Do… ya want a lift back?" Carla asked, her breath completely visible in the evening air.

"Erm…" Peter said, glancing around him and then shaking his head. "I think not."

"Oh… right." Carla said feeling slightly foolish now.

"I don't think it's a good idea if I go back with you right now… I'm still really angry with this Johnny Connor to be honest with ya…" Peter said but he trailed off when he saw Carla smirk.

"You don't need to make excuses." She said, "I get that it'll be a little weird to come back with me... it's fine."

"It's not an excuse... I'm serious..." Peter insisted, putting his cold hands back into his pocket, mainly so that he didn't reach out and take hold of Carla once again. "Not that I know what this Johnny even looks like... I just don't think I'm quite ready to go back just yet… I mean I'll definitely come back later to see me Dad n Si n stuff, I'm not going to leave without popping into see em… I think I just need an hour or so."

"Okay." Carla nodded understandingly. She looked incredibly worried about going back to the street but she tried to tell herself that she was doing the right thing as Peter coughed awkwardly and then said,

"Can you do me a favour?"

"Sure… I mean after what you did for me today… anything." Carla said, wondering what Peter could be about to ask her.

"Could you just… let me know what happens… with Nick… I know I ave no right I just hate the idea of not knowing how it all turned out… even a little text would do… just so I know that you're okay." Peter watched Carla nervously and was sure that she would say no but as she nodded he felt a wave of relief rush over him.

"I'll let you know." She said and she meant it, even though the prospect of speaking to Peter over the phone was slightly odd. "I've still got your number." She admitted shyly.

"Good." Peter said smiling sheepishly as he and Carla began finally walking away from that cafe that they had met up at earlier on today.

He walked Carla to her car and as she got in it and waved goodbye he wished that he'd had the courage to hug her again.

Just one more time would have been heaven.

She drove away from Peter and as he walked the streets aimlessly he really and truly hoped that she and Nick were going to be okay.

Peter still hated Nick with every bone in his body but if Carla loved Nick then Peter knew that he had to get past those feelings of hatred.

That was why he hadn't gone back to the street with her straight away.

He still needed time to get used to the idea of Carla and Nick.

He knew that if he had seen Nick he'd feel his blood boil and that he just needed a little while longer to prepare for that.

Peter strolled slowly in the direction of Coronation Street but on the way he decided to pop into the local chemist to get some painkillers for that headache of his that was still bothering him.

He pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and approached the till to ask for some painkillers, which were kept behind it.

There were a few people in front of Peter, a blonde middle aged woman was at the front talking to the pharmacist about the medication that she was on and behind her was a man with greying black hair and a black coat, tutting and looking down at his watch, he was obviously in some sort of rush but Peter wasn't, he was trying to delay his return to the street for just that little bit longer so he just waited patiently.

He waited patiently in his own little world, until the blonde woman walked past him and the greying man in front stepped forward with a sigh and said in a gruff voice,

"I'm ere to pick a prescription for Johnny Connor."


End file.
